More than just inspirational. :)

The following quotations that you will read are the text messages of my kuya Drew regarding a problem of mine. :)

"Ok lang yung ganun sakyan mo lang yung nararamdaman mo. Pero wag ka masyado
magtitiwala. Wag ka masyado magpapacarried away."

"Think critically. Saka magdudua ka sa mga bagay bagay. Dapat ko ba pagkatiwalaan 'to? Ano bang effort nagawa nito? Ano ba yung tunay na goal nito?"

"Oo nadadala ako sa kanya . Pero bakit ako magpapadala ng walang assurance?"

"Dapat wag ka masaktan. Ganun talaga eh. Kung pipilitin mo na takpan yan, kelan ka pa matututo at mamumulat sa katotohanan? Mabuti na yung masaktan ka ngayon kesa masaktan ka kapag may commitment na. Parang sakin, may pain at may cure. If you choose the pain reliever, it will just relieve the pain but will not cure it."

"Kaya maaga pa lang i-cure mo na yung sakit, at wag lang basta irelieve yung pain kasi mas tatagal hirap mo kasi di gumagaling yang nasa puso at ugali mo - na nahuhulog ka agad. Masakit at mapapait talaga ang mga gamot diba? Ganun din ang dapat mong harapin."

"Critical thinking nga siguro ang cure. Pero kulang yun. Dapat may tamang balance. Hindi ka dapat maging masyadong cold. Dapat sakyan mo din sila. Pero isipin mong dapat mapatunayan mun ang taong 'to na he deserves my trust."

"Hindi ko sinasabi na wag ka na magtitiwala. Kasi pag ganun, tinatanggal mo na po yung chance ng tao magbago/maipakit na may pag-asa pa. Kumbaga ang isang bote, pwede mo lang lagyan ng tubig na sapat para hindi tumapon. Kasi pag nilagyan mo ng isang baldeng tubig ang bote ndi tama yun diba? kasi sobra yun. Ganun din dapat sa tao. Magtiwala ka pero wag ka magbibigay ng sobra lalo't sa text lang yan diba?"

"Unti unti lang dapat ang pagbabago. Pero hindi dahil hindi ka pa nagbabago ng complete. Hindi ibig sabihinnun na hahayaan mo na yung iba na ma-attack ka sa weakness mo. Even if they don't know it."

"Hindi ko din sinasabi na maging defensive ka. Gusto ko magkaroon ka lang ng balance sa actions and thoughts mo."


During my last post, I was feeling so miserable and my life life was in a mess. :/
Kuya Drew was the reason I'm a bit okay now. :) He always make me feel better and I thank him for that. :)

Mushy is the word. :((

"Pinipilit kong magpakasaya. Pinipilit kong patawarin ka. Pinipilit kong MAGPAKAIBA."

It was the chorus of the song Pilit by Hilera. I dunno. I was just so moved by the lyrics. Because of the connection of the song and my sentimentality. :/

FCUK. I just can't effin' move on.

I keep remembering all those memories. Even though they weren't so great. Sometimes I think he's doing all of these on purpose. To attain revenge for his friend. Waaaa. *gulp*

Everytime my phone beeps, I wish it was him texting. I get miserable everytime I try to call him because his phone was always unavailable. :/

But there's this tiny part in my head asking me: What the f*ck is happening to you? Why do you care? There never was any YOU AND HIM, is there?

He tastes like YOU -- only SWEETER. :/
I'm talking about my first love and this guy who.. who.. I dunno.

But somehow, I think I can manage. I just need to clear my mind and keep in it that there is only person I love. Nothing must change that.

Why I made another blog. :/

Right now I'm missing someone. Someone who has recently touched my heart.
But I shouldn't.
And I musn't. :/
These part few days have been weird.. AND UNCLEAR. :/

I there a truth in t saying It's a shame to be attached? Because right now, I'm attached. And i'm only 16 years old. Great. Just GARREAATT. :/

I'm an incoming college freshman of the University of the Philippines. And based on my friends stories, and as I have read on forums, you will be meeting all kinds of people in that prestigious university: geeks, nerds, jocks, happy-go-luckies, etc. -- and IT'S A SHAME TO BE ATTACHED.

Is attachement a factor when it comes to choosing friends? Because right now, I'm so effin' confused. :/ I myself had my own share of experiences. :/

None of this should've happened if it weren't for this guy who came into the picture recently. He was so nice. And he's a friend of my first love. He's sooooo SENSIBLE. If he gets to read this blog, I bet that he would get the point immediately. :/

I happened to relate to him my long kept story of my past -- the story of my first love. I mean, he's his friend. He can relate. Even though I wasn't really sure if he understood me, at least he listened.

But I was right all along. ALL MEN ARE THE SAME. One day, he, too, changed. Fcuk. :/

Now, back to the main question, why did I made another blog? Because I cannot hold onto these feelings inside of me anymore. But I couldn't hurt my guy's feeling. Because I DO love him and I can't imagine forgiving myself If ever I hurt him, especially his feelings.

Right now I'm so confused and I don't know what to do. :((